Losing You
by HatchetGirl311
Summary: Gavroche reflects on his relationship with Eponine after her death. One shot. Gavroche/Eponine friendship.


**A/N: Hey! My first Les Miserables fanfic! :D. Well, I might have one buried somewhere in the depths of my netbook, but I dunno. So, I'm totally new to the LM fanfic fandom. I don't know if you all have a certain way of writing things, or what, I don't know. And please note, my netbook was too dumb to get MS Word, so I'm left with WordPad, which doesn't correct my spelling, so be aware of that D:. I got the inspiration after seeing Les Miserables for the 2nd time last night...So, yeah ^^. Anyway, onto it! :D. (P.S. This is all from Gavroche's POV. And **_writing in this writing is either thoughts or flashbacks_**).**

_**Edit: Thank you all so much for the constructive (I hope) critism. I am ditching all of my books that I am reading and re-starting Les Miserables. But, can somebody tell me why the HELL there's so much insight on every freaking character? xD. I would especially like to thank .Lost-Blue-Phantom. for the help! With that, I can re-write this (Godawful) one-shot c:. Well, onto it!**_

I had spent around an hour or so in total looking around for a gun. I needed one if I wanted to take part in the revolution. I knew I would be able to use my fists, as I could pack in a punch, but I wouldn't like to go face to face with the police while they had guns that were bigger than me.

Some random stranger had given me a gun. I wondered why everyone was suddenly armed with guns as I left. The gun was my size, and the stranger had been nice enough to give me bullets as well. If that was a policeman, I would probably be thrown straight into the slammer. Inspector Javert hadn't given me the best name amongst the police.

I arrived back at the barricade quite fast. I looked up first, to see if there was any action going on yet. There wasn't anyone there. I considered climbing the barricade at first, but I realised that the police officers were on full watch, and I would be blown down right away without the other students.

I looked forward, and saw a crowd gathered around something, or someone. My first thought was that they had finally given that inspector what he deserves. I was about to smile, when I heard voices. The two voices were Eponine's, and her fool of a crush, Marius's. Marius's voice was trembling, and 'Ponine sounded weak .A dark thought entered my head, and I shook my head quickly as if to get it out of my head.

I began to push through the crowd of students. I saw Enjolras, and I knew wherever he was, it was near the front, so I had to be close. I pushed Enjorlas out of the way, and saw him behind Grantaire. I stepped in front of Grantaire, and looked down.

I told myself immediately that I was asleep and was having a nightmare. Eponine was holding Marius's arm, while he cradled her gently. There was a large spot of red showing through her brown hair. Her white blouse was almost completely red, and there was a large gaping wound in the middle of her chest. She looked pale. And it was obvious that Marius had found her first. But, I decided I wanted to take over from that point. Marius could go off and screw his girlfriend in my eyes.

I began to walk forward, someone jerked me back. When I stared down, Grantaire had put his left arm around me, as if he knew what I was planning to do. I glared up at him. But, around four seconds later, my eyes lingered back on my sister. She hadn't looked that happy in a while. She had probably forgotten Cosette even existed, and thought that Marius was all hers. I wished I could tell her the truth of the matter. But, in her moments of pain, I decided to let her be happy.

I knew that Marius had never been there for her. I was always there for her when she told me her daily adventures, which had gotten quite interesting in the past few weeks. So, I jerked forward again. I wanted to say goodbye to her. Grantaire's hold became stronger. I was pretty sure there was nothing I could do. I thought about biting his hand, but that would cause too much of a scene. For once in my life, I was completely hopeless.

'Let me go', I murmured underneath my breath.

'Sorry, but I know your sister would've wanted this. I saw the way she looked at him for ages!' Grantaire said. He must have heard me, or was just apologizing out of the blue. I decided not to respond in the end and continue looking at my sister. She was becoming paler, and was slowly losing her grip on Marius's arm. The others werer beginning to bow their heads in a sign of respect. I just kept on staring, though. I kept on staring as she slid down into his lap and brushed his cheek.

Eponine then did something she said she had constantly wanted to do since the day she met him. Her lips met his lips, but it was only for less than a second. She fell back into his lap again, and didn't move.

It was then I bowed my head. It wasn't just out of respect for her. No, I actually considered her an fool for risking her life for an even bigger fool. As Eponine had fallen, I felt a rare prick in my eyes. I knew I was getting all teary-eyed, but I couldn't cry. All of the students and people who had joined in on this revolution had gotten to know me as a strong kid who wouldn't let absolutely anything rattle him, including his sister's death.

Grantaire's grip finally loosened on me. He still stayed behind me, and kept his head bowed down as Enjorlas passed to give words of comfort to Marius. I kept my head bowed down too, as my eyes got more teary, and also for the fact I didn't want to see 'Ponine in such a horrible state.

I looked up again as soon as Grantaire had gone over to Marius's side, to comfort him. Eponine was gone. _It must have been some crazy dream, _I tried to convince myself, but I just couldn't. I had seen her die.

Everyone was concentrated on comforting Marius. Even though he loved Cosette, everyone knew Eponine was his best friend, so it would deliver a hard blow for him. I didn't mind now having any attention focused on me. I didn't want anyone to see me so, well, weak.

I knew those tears wouldn't hold in much longer. Marius was already sobbing into Enjorlas's shirt like there was no tomorrow. People were beginning to move from the spots they had been in, to find their guns and to comfort Marius. I took that as my chance to escape.

I took a long look around the barricade. It was made up with various random items that would hold strong. Near the far left of the barricade, I noticed a barrel was there, and there was a little space between it and the other items. _I can pretend I lost something, _I thought. I then ran over there with all my speed and bent over the barrel. I could only see darkness, which was good in my situation. I then sobbed quietly, letting the tears fall from my eyes at last. I felt my body tremble a little violently as I let more tears spill into the darkness, where they wouldn't be seen.

I heard Enjolras shout to start the first attack. I pulled my head up. I snatched my gun and climbed up a bit further up the barricade, wiping my eyes in the process. I had promised the students I would help them fight in this war, even though sometimes I felt like I was just a showboy to show people what happens when you live out on the streets.

An older man had joined us. He looked over at me, and saw me wiping my eyes. I quickly put my hands down by my side and looked over at him as well. He gave me a look of pity. He must have arrived while I was near the barrel, and saw me. I prayed that he wouldn't tell anybody, for the sake of my pride.

I then tipped my hat slightly down as if to say, 'Hello', or, 'Concentrate on shooting'. He turned around and continued trying to find targets. I started to shoot at the same time as the others, hoping to shoot my sister's killer.

_Later_

It was late at night. Everybody was beginning to lie down after winning the first fight. Everyone was tired. It had been a horrible day for me, so I couldn't tell if I was just sick of all this, or if I was tired. Either way, I wasn't my usual self, but I thought I was the only one who knew this.

Everybody had fallen asleep in minutes. The old man, whose named I had learned was Monsieur Fauchelevant, was the only one along with me left awake. But he seemed to be praying, or something. I shrugged, and began to climb down the side of the barricade.

Monsieur Madeline didn't notice as I quietly hopped down onto the ground. I tiptoed around all the sleeping students quietly. Not far off from the barricade was the ABC Cafe, where we had all spent so much time in. Back then, we had laughed together, discussed how we were going to attack, and in fact, it was where they first asked me to join them. But, during the revolution, it was being used for more depressing purposes.

I opened the door, which opened with a loud creak. All the tables and chairs were stacked to one side. In the middle of the room lay only one person.

'Ponine looked a lot more peaceful. Somebody probably had cleaned off her blood before laying her down. She was unbelievably pale. I expected her stomach to move up and back down any minute. It was strange to see her... well, like that.

It was a bit dark, but I didn't care. I was used to the darkness.

I knelt down beside my sister, and pressed my hand on her chest, hoping that something would happen. Nothing did.

'You're an idiot, you know that? Risking your life for _him', _I said, looking at her. I really resented Marius, but I never let it show. Eponine never resented Marius for one minute. She adored him since the day she met him, and I was the first to know

_'Hey! Gavroche! C'mere, quickly!' Eponine shouted. Her shouting took me by surprise, and I fell off of the window ledge I was sitting on. She was standing right above me, a huge grin across her face. I glared up at her as I stood up._

_'What could be so important that you had to wreck my eardrums?' I asked. Eponine helped brush dirt off me, still grinning. I caught her happy atmosphere, and my grudge was gone._

_'Well, I met him!' she squealed._

_'Met who?' I asked, curious._

_'My soulmate, of course! Remember? We were talking about them around the other week or so. You said that my soulmate might be right in front of me...Well, now, I've saw him!' she said happily. I remembered that conversation pretty well. Only, the male I was aiming at wasn't the person she was talking about._

_'Who is he?' I asked. I decided to be happy that she had finally found someone. She bent down to my level._

_'His name is Monsieur Marius! He was so nice to me. He asked me if I was okay after helping our idiotic father in another one of his schemes, I said I was feeling a little bad, and he gave me bread. It wasn't my first time meeting him. Dad sent me on trips to give him letters, but I only slipped them through the door, or only saw the back of his head', she explained._

_'Well, I'm pretty close to his friend, y'know. Enjorlas, ever heard of 'im?' I asked._

_'Yeah! D'you think he can help me become closer to Marius?' she asked._

_'Sure! I guarantee it!' I said to her. She squeaked, then threw her arms around me._

That was one of our many good days. I loved those kind of memories. They were worth more than the most valuable jewels in the world to me. But, as all brothers and sisters had, there were our pitiful days, and I hated myself for remembering them when I was leaning over Eponine's corpse.

_I was sitting down in my usual patch. 'Ponine was taking hours to arrive. It wasn't like her. She was usually on time._

_I sighed and threw a pebble out onto the streets. I then heard footsteps. I prayed to God that it wasn't Javert I had threw a pebble at. The slightest thing could set him off, and everybody knew it._

_I was wrong. It wasn't Javert. Eponine was standing there, her eyes swollen and her knees shaking. I quickly stood up. I knew this wasn't like her. She was the second toughest person around here I knew, right behind me._

_''Ponine? What's up?' I shouted. Eponine bowed her head._

_'I-it's not that. It's Marius', she whimpered quietly. My eyes widened. I didn't expect Marius. First, Eponine was his best friend, and second, he's weak._

_'What? Sis', are you insane? He couldn'ta beat you up! He could be beaten up by a puppy!' I told her. She threw her hands up in the air and began to pace about._

_'He didn't beat me up! But it felt like he did. H-he got me to find a girl he saw and fell in love with. Her name's Cosette. I don't think you remember her, you were still just a lilttle baby then, but still. Our mum was mean to her, and convinced me that she was a bad nut. So, I looked down on her. And now, this is her revenge. Her and Marius are...are...' she stammered. I knew she wouldn't be able to finish the last part. So, I jumped up onto the window ledge, and jumped into her arms, to give her a hug. It was at times like those I hated being the short stuff._

_My sister buried her head into my shoulder, and I could hear her sob. I hugged her tighter, as if to try and get all the heartbreak out of her. She hugged me back. I never hated Marius more than I did at that moment. I then felt her raise my head, and I looked at her sympathetically._

_'I-I probably look like such an idiot right now. Crying into my nine year old brother's shirt. No wonder Marius wants Cosette instead of me... I'm a pitiful urchin...' she sobbed. That did it for me._

_'Hey! I don't know what this Cosette girl's like, but I know she's a million times uglier than you, looks-wise and per-pers- er, what's the word? Oh, yeah! Personality-wise. Marius is one idiot. If he doesn't think you're better than that girl, well, leave him be the dumbest person who ever lived, and go on with your life. Y'know, tormenting Inspector Javert with me! As always', I told her. She sniffed and looked at me. She took me beneath my arms, and put me back down on the ground._

_'Y-yeah. Tomorrow we'll torment Javert, a-a-as always', she muttered. I could see right through her lies. She was still as miserable as she was a few minutes ago._ _But I would be there for her. I would be there for her, even if it means putting my life on the line._

I remembered. I had promised her I'd be there for her, even if it meant death. She promised me the same some time as well. But her death was for _him. _That idiot who broke her heart to run off with that little snowflake. Eponine constantly told me that she didn't deserve Marius. Well, she was wrong. Marius doesn't deserve anybody for leting a girl like her slip away in my eyes.

I felt the exhaustion hit me, and I wanted to sleep. But I knew this would be my last chance to see my sister, so I didn't want to go back.

Instead, I pushed her left arm away from her side, until there was a gap between her hip and her arm. I laid down beside her put her arm around my back. I looked up at her face. I expected her to open her eyes and ask me why the hell was I acting like such a baby.

I sat up once again and looked down at her. A single tear fell onto her cheek and slid down. Of course, the tear didn't belong to her. I knew I still had a lot of tears left in me. I had always stayed strong in front of her. Since I had been kicked out onto the streets, I had been forced to grow up, and not to be a kid. But, I guess I was only told to be like that in front of other people.

So, I decided to curl myself up, grab her jacket, and cry into it. The tears I had been holding back for years could finally be let out. I clenched my teeth together, in force of habit to try and stop myself, but I couldn't.

'I-I p-p-promise you that you w-won't be alone up there for much longer', I told her, 'I'll be with you soon enough.'

**A/N: Ugh. I'm terrible at writing depressing things. If I do another Les Mis thing, I think it'll be a little more perkier. Meh. Oh well. Well, can you please review? c:. Thank you!**


End file.
